Looking in the mirror blowing kisses at myself, saying aint no one inside me calling out for help, no that’s another story, put it on the shelf, baby I aint scared of dying, I just got out of hell.
Maybe you don’t know it yet but living isn’t that easy, every time I hear a name my stomach’s getting queasy, and I’m just beating at myself, when I catch me thinking, I’m absent from the moment, I’m staring at the ceiling, and going through this by myself gives me a lonely feeling.
And it’s like I’m screaming right at the sky like there’s demons in my lungs, these kids kicking at my heart, but hey they never had one, there’s eye’s burning through my back like a lemon yellow sun, and I’m popping out this toaster, screw this shit I’m done.
Snap out of it Jordan this was so long ago, it’s a pool of lava, stay away and quit dipping in your toe, you let it bottle up inside you and you never let it show, big daddy pulling down my shades saying where’d hell she go, and it’s so- antagonizing, agonizing austrasizing subordinating over analyzing, everything but your accomplishments, your happiness is deteriorating, and I’m debating whether I can trust myself and whatever the hell I’m saying, I’m getting dizzy, following every which way I’m swaying, I’m not an open book cause I don’t want you to hate me.. And I’m saying…
Now it doesn’t really matter who the heck I was, so to all of the pretenders, who I am now is enough, so what, cause I’m behaving, so what, I can have fun, quit all the shitty hating, its easier to love, yeah I knows it’s really cheesy so I only say it once. But it’s ironic cause I’m angry, don’t know where its coming from, and my mind is getting lazy, I’m twiddling my thumbs, and I’m feeling kind of crazy, just lately damn it why won’t you just shut up…
Somebody help me I think I might be melting, i am i swear, in my head like a secret mind affair, right as i put my lighter there, take a pull, nicotine, wishing i could slide by so serene, my skins to tight, times are mean, and im looking for a sign, looking back from time to time, and damn do i dream, its torturing me, remembering your lips against mine, feeling the rush, but your not there, running my fingers through my hair, but there not yours, why should i care, i see flashes of the way you used to stare, and its not fair, making love on a double dare, like we wouldnt, that aint true, im wishing i got a chance to spit hate on you, but thats not right, thats not me, atleast not who want to be, so i say so i do, so im looking at you...
Kill me at the sunset, laughing in the rain, I’m insane, I’m in pain, so disdained, let the heads roll baby let them hang, and I sang,
Looking in the mirror blowing kisses at myself saying aint no one inside me calling out for, cause that’s another story I’ll just put on the shelf, damn it I aint scared of dying, I just got out of hell.
