what lies beneath

My heart hits my chest like my body's playing ping pong,
beating it like king kong. Soldier on. Your dead to me run along.
Wait where'd you go while i was gone? Held on to your boyfriend? Cheated on your girlfriend?
Are you a serial a killer?  Are you a con?
I dont know its been so long. But hey what do i care....
I got to get that, its my door bell. "Ding dong."
Oh look its misery, hows that for fucking irony? So what?
Yeah we got chemistry. he thinks its some monotany.
Thats also contradictory considering that he's taunting me.
 Well there goes all the gravity.
He's saying "Boom" when I hit the floor... Welcome to cacophany.
And I'm like hell. Yeah I'm like hell, snap out it cause all is well.
Words I'm struggling to sell. Not to the world, but to myself. But I got pride, cant ask for help.
There's a reason why I left. Can you not tell? Of course not cause I keep it curled inside this shell.
 I was stepped on and stalcked, cause I was too "nice" to tell him to stop. And she was the worst.
Because she had it in her head that she could not.
I'm not her family, I'm not your soul mate, I'm not her other half, and most of all, I'm not your fucking inmate.
 No wonder when my panick is attacking. It's triggered by these leaches im attracting.
I used to rub my temples, like is this really happening?
But now its happened, and some vanished along with me.
I've herd it all, I've seen the worst, I know fucking murderers.
They killed people, then killed the thirst for blood and beer, whatever came first....
And I lay in my bed and I'm scared, and I stare, I'ts almost like i want them there,
but i dont. Oh but you do. Shut up misery no one asked you.
tighten up your screws are lose. Your like a fucking brown recluse.
Ive been writing since a quarter to 2, now its 3 o'clock, I cant sleep, and it's no use.
So I thought I'd write what lies benieth, behind of what I say or do.
It doesnt make much sense to me, I'm sure it wont make much sence to you.

Time to walk away and let it go

THE PATH IS ONE OF THESE.

The path is one of these

A darkened angel

Or you and me

Our lack there of

A vacancy

A forest fire

A paradise

 A hurricane

The path is one of these

Its killing me

Its eating me

The hate the burn the agony

The love the holding on

The noise in my head

Cacophony

The path is one of these

A lack of wanting to be seen

A we,

A one,

A nobody,

The heads will role

He turns away from me

A tear

A lowered chin

An unfixed gaze

He’s never been

Eyes are far away

To the left a memory

To the right imagining

Being lost

Without wandering

The path is one of these

So leave.

All the screams

 We should have screamed

Escape us momentarily

Shoulders rolling towards the ground

Your lying it’s a lie your lying

And I’m trying

No I’m not

I want to die

No I don’t

I want to kill you

 I don’t know

Maybe I do

Maybe not

What’s it to you

Come on breathe

She’s shaking me

I’m shaking me

The path is one of these

                                                                                                   So leave